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Nashville-born, New York-based | Writer • Filmmaker

I Want To Return Your Book To You, But My Grandfather's Soul Has Taken Possession Of It

"Somewhere around chapter 6 you can hear him screaming."

Featured Posts

Liberal Pussies Want Our Boys Playing With Fidget Spinners Instead Of Japanese Throwing Stars

Liberal Pussies Want Our Boys Playing With Fidget Spinners Instead Of Japanese Throwing Stars

Local Man Sleeps Through All Alarms; Owes Guilty Thank You to that Amber Alert.

Local Man Sleeps Through All Alarms; Owes Guilty Thank You to that Amber Alert.

Recent Posts

5 Ways To Tell Your Parents That You're Keeping Hermit Crabs In Their Cereal Box

"My Most Devastating Professional Experience"

"My Most Devastating Professional Experience"

Solidarity: These Allies Burst Their Own Eardrums Upon Hearing Noise Has Been Cancelled

Breaking: Every Text You Drafted In Notes App Was Just Shared via Your Mother's Facebook Page

Wild! Barack Obama revealed to be long-running Giancarlo Esposito character

Wild! Barack Obama revealed to be long-running Giancarlo Esposito character

Tik Tok Challenge: Spell Out Your Parent’s Social Security Numbers With These Trendy Dance Moves

United Airlines Giving Free Tickets To EVERYONE That Shares This Post AND Submits To The Mark Of The

If Amelia Earhart Were Alive Today Who Would She Have Voted For?!

Liberal Pussies Want Our Boys Playing With Fidget Spinners Instead Of Japanese Throwing Stars

My Dog Is Trying To Communicate With Me From Hell

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